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Total Solar Eclipse of the Heart

They say you can’t have the good without the bad. Well what if someone told you that on the full moon – you will be affected even more, when it’s good it’s really good and when it’s bad it’s really bad! Well, this happened to me and here is the full story.

Last night I went to pay my spiritual healer for my reiki session and as I was clicking “confirm” and put my password in to secure payment, I checked my email and my healer has literally sent me an email at the exact same time explaining one of the digits was wrong. I panicked, did some research and we spoke over the phone. It was like she was meant to speak to me, and that I needed to be given more information about my purpose. She was so lovely, she took the time to explain that I am very connected to the moon cycles and right now we are going through a solar eclipse. She explained a lot – she said when it’s around this time – to be aware that when it’s good it’s really good and when it’s bad it’s really bad.

My phone last night was off the hook and I was buzzing and on a very natural high. I got a lot done, even managed to get a reasonably early night. I knew after my interview with The Morning Show that something amazing was to going to eventuate from that experience. Yesterday after the interview I was feeling tired and had a little nap in the car. I then posted some of my signed albums, and I was craving sugar and I ate a whole packet of sweets!!!

I then met a friend for lunch and we spoke about chanting. He is a yoga instructor and does workshops on meditation and we were definitely on the same wavelength. We talked about how you can have different chants and mantras for different purposes and we both agreed that “Hare Krishna” chant is the most powerful.

While I was in London, I had such a beautiful experience at The Temple, for Janmashtami and I was introduced to the chant, and I was given a book called “chant and be happy” which explains about what Hare Krishna means and how it can help people in Western Society – This is a whole other story which I will tell soon. I am still learning myself. Anyway it was such a relief to talk about it. I feel like some people are afraid of God and talking about it, I used to be. So I get it. But I am not trying to be cool anymore. I am just working toward a better “me” which in turn will make a better “we” as a collective. I chanted last night and I prayed that my grandparents would be free. It must be so hard for them, they are now in their 80’s and my Nonno can’t drive like he used to. My Nonna is also pushing him to the ground and not only is it hurting him, I know it’s hurting her too, but she closes off. My Nonno had a car accident today and I was in the car and it was a big wake up call. He is trying so hard to be the man he used to be but my Nonna has broken him down. It’s really horrible to watch a man lose a big part of his manliness and I refuse to this happen. It’s just not right. I know in Italian culture the Italian woman can be fierce and sometimes VERY fierce, but there is no room for narcism in my books!

This morning I woke up early for a 6.30am call, Boxing with a fitness instructor at The Herald Sun building. I have been asked to be involved with a  charity – Beyond Blue – the event is being held 29th September (AFL Grand Final Eve) to help raise funds for people with depression. I will let you know further details very soon. I will be running the breathing and meditation class and there will be fitness classes and a nice big breakfast treat afterward! It was such a beautiful morning, the training was good, he worked us hard.

Later that day, me and Nonno were planning to go and see the house that is buying –  together. It’s smaller, less work for him, and it will be warmer, less bills to pay and it just makes sense. On the way there is when we had the accident. We were so close to the house too! Someone out there was trying to stop us from going… hmmm wonder who that could be?

Then I stayed with him and hugged him because he was in shock. He was broken, his heart had been torn apart. I could see he was doing everything he could possible do to survive, he is under tremendous pressure, left to do this without nonna’s acceptance and support. It breaks my heart and makes me so sad I just don’t know what to do. I want him to stay Alive and live the life he is  meant to live. I want him to buy the house and have a fresh start. I want my Nonna to wake up and see the reality and not the illusion. I tried so hard to explain to her today that her behaviour and attitude is actually killing him. It’s actually abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse. To put someone down after they have had an accident. All he wanted was love and needed a hug. Love and support and understanding. There was an angel looking over him today and I pray that this angel continues to guide him. I’m lost for words right now. It’s like I am fighting Evil. It felt horrible. It shocks me that I am even writing these words, but it’s how I felt.

The day was split in 2. And now I’m grateful I’m here to write this story. The song I released this week, “Alive” was written about my other grandad and this week it has felt like this song is really resonating with me more than ever. That in a split second we can be gone into our next form. I took the initiative to protect my Nonno today because I knew he wasn’t strong enough to fight this on his own. I fought for him with my heart and soul today and I took a huge risk in fighting for what I believe in. I love both my grandparents so much I am so connected to them. This is their battle to fight, this I know. But when someone is in a helpless situation and doesn’t have enough energy to fight anymore, something must be done. Too many times we sit back and say “Oh, she’ll be right mate” well NO – she won’t be right mate! Get up and do something about it! If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. Act on it. Say something. I wish I had have said something earlier, maybe we wouldn’t have had the accident. As I said, I’m blessed that we are still here for this day. Thank you God.

As I finish writing this blog, I receive a text saying that a commercial I have been working on for months – has just come through, for a nice sum of money! And I also woke up to some really lovely emails with some more purchases of my signed album and a very heartfelt article/review was written about NATG and Pictures of Mars! What kind of full moon is this??? WOW!!! A total solar eclipse of the heart. Thank you for reading all the way up to the end. xxxxx

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