I once lost my soul and who I was. I now have a story to tell.
I’ve been to hell and back a few times and to heaven and back many times. I won Australian Idol ( a reality TV show based on singing and performance) have a Gold Single and Platinum album, reached heights I never knew I could. I became famous in Australia over night, fought to keep my integrity and ended up discovering a whole new world and reality in the process. I got married to escape from my music and because I believed it was my time to start a family at 27. I planned to have children too, thought I had it all worked out.
My dreams began to change, especially the ones I was having at night. I was smoking, doing way too much cocaine (the ego drug) while functioning day to day. I fought with my record label to produce an album “I” wanted to make and in the process I started to lose my friends and family. I became distracted and distant. The money, drugs and fame took over and I got the life sucked out of me.
I started sabotaging my own career bit by bit. This so called “Album” took over my being. I lost confidents in myself as a writer and performer and decided to quit. I wasn’t being heard. My heart and soul wasn’t being listened to. I made the decision to walk away from my prize and my old life.
I left my husband after 3 and half years of marriage to find the answers to why this all happened? What was the purpose of all of this? Why did God bless me with these gifts that no one wanted to listen to? No one, being 90% of the music industry I was in at the time. How do I get my voice heard to the people who want to listen? I knew they were out there.
I fell into a deep depression and couldn’t stop crying. All the past pains were resurfacing. The sexual abuse from my music teacher at school, my mum’s alcohol addiction, the absence of my father and the whole world weighing on my shoulders, as I took on all the responsibilities from such a young age.
I had to break free.
In 2012, I left Australia. I changed my name to Nellie Bell and slowly picked up all the pieces and put them back together with guidance from spiritual teachers and music healers.
I learnt how to build a strong foundation from the inside and things began to change. My skin started to become blotchy from all the detoxing, I quit everything and went cold turkey and haven’t touched a drug since 2012. It was 3 months of hardcore pain, especially around my stomach area and bowls (where we hold our emotions, intuition, creation and abundance for life). I wanted to crawl up in the foetal position wanting to be back in my mother’s womb. But I was no longer a little girl. I was growing into a woman.
I unlearnt everything I ever knew. In solitude I turned to Nellie Bell for the answers. She knew! I changed my DNA.
I went back into a child and taught myself life lessons. What would Nellie Bell do? She was fun, carefree and made a lot of mistakes! In the process she discovered meditation, transformation, had encounters with the Holy Spirit, Krishna, Buddha… and learnt how to chant sacred sounds and mantra meditation. She learnt Chi-Gong Yoga and was told by many spiritual teachers that she was to become a spiritual leader in her field and share her practice with people.
First I needed to heal myself and make myself whole again. I discovered that we are in a constant state of healing and growth and that I was learning then teaching what I learnt, it became an instant exchange process of receiving and giving. My values and beliefs had begun to reprogram and the world and my reality took a completely different view. One filled with more love, bliss, fun and peace.
I crowdfunded to finish “The” album I never got to make with my old label and decided to call my artist self Natalie Gauci again, and I decided to keep my name Nellie Bell as the person, someone close to my heart that I could turn to when I needed love, support and guidance, she is my higher self. Natalie Gauci grounds me to the earth and Nellie Bell takes me to the ethos and connects me to higher powers so I can be me, and just be.
I founded my new practice, NATG The Angel Heart Academy and Oracle readings and healing, to start sharing my gifts of clairvoyance, clairaudience and channeling the divine light energy. I am a certified Shamanic Healer and qualified NLP (Neurolinguistic programming) Practitioner and I have been a professional singer and teacher for over 20 years. I visit schools and corporations helping people become true leaders of their life and their life purpose. Bringing peace, love, light and happiness into every day life no matter what the situation is.
I am writing an autobiography to tell my full story. I am an author for spiritual education courses. I am a public speaker and public figure, I facilitate work shops and Divine Light Energy Bath Retreats, live shows, blogs, webinars and many hearts collectively talking and singing with me on this journey we call life, in search to find their true voice to speak up with confidence.
My mission is to create a global collective consciousness by bringing everyone together through divine light energy.
This is suitable for anyone and anyone who wants to enjoy feeling big, and to share it with the world and have fun!
We are entering a new earth and there is a sort of desperation in people, like they don’t know what to do and there is a big turn around, the realisation that nobody is going to save you. We need to save ourselves, we create our own reality. It’s up to us to raise our consciousness and get up and do it ourselves. Our thoughts, our feelings, whether we choose to unplug ourselves from the old Earth and come into the new gracefully with the light and love. Be Innovative.”
Photo By Martin Bonnici