The New Moon

Today I am feeling very proud of myself because I woke up early. I’ve been working really hard to get my mind out of this haze. The haze comes from not knowing, feeling lethargic and tired and I know that a few months back, this was my mind set. It needed fuel. But what kind of fuel? I had to really ask the question out loud. I was tired of doing the same old thing day in day out, and things needed to change. Once I became aware that I had to do things differently, it meant I had to change my thought patterns. Which, believe me, is a gradual process. Each day is a step forward and especially the days when you feel you’re going backwards, those days are the best because it pushes you to move, then you take bigger leaps because you’re moving out of your comfort zone, into the unknown. And yes it feels scary at first, but once you take the leap – YOU FLY! Most of us believe success is when we have money. So when we think about making money, we attach it to our feelings, this is when we become what I call “The Servant” to what we feel is right or wrong when we make a choice. Who are we serving? Are we actually helping ourselves and each other, by doing this job? For me, it has always been about purpose. Today I woke up feeling like negative thoughts were coming into my head and I was 100% completely aware of it and decided to do something about it. I have subscribed to Hay House and everyday they send their subscribers emails relating to mental health and wellbeing. And to day I just happened to receive a whole bunch of new positive affirmations. And I realised that lately everything that is being given to me at the right time when I need it, and when I’m ready. Last night was the same, As I was going to bed, I felt a little bit strange. I was wide awake and it was past midnight, and I was hearing noises as if someone was in the house. Then I looked at my phone and I got a notification about a youtube video by Esther Hicks, that was answering that exact question. She mentions that when you are making changes, it’s not fear, it’s anticipation. Realisation from the conscious and unconscious mind. That you are where you are, and it is a good place to be, then you are moving into another place where you are on the brink of energy moving and on the verge, having an acute awareness of where you are. Energy is in motion always moving forward. To be in the vibrational stance of trust, to keep this feeling going.

It’s our own minds that give us the power to create thoughts. And today I was able to hear the thoughts that were trying to stop me from moving forward and take me back to my old train of thoughts. It’s so easy to look at someone else’s life and see what they have and not praise them for their achievements because you feel they have more than you. Which means your looking at your own life and seeing what you don’t have, which is what I did. I then did some chanting and I thought – hang on, I have all these things too and I believe in myself and when I’m ready to say what I need to say and do what is right for me, then I won’t feel resentment, I will feel love and compassion for everyone, and be grateful for all the amazing people in the world and for all their amazing achievements and praise them for it, and now that I have done this, I am looking at myself through eyes of love and in turn, seeing these wonderful amazing people with eyes of love also. Then abundance is felt all around us, like a nice big full cup of water, that purifies the body and makes us feel whole.

Namaste.

Heartbeat is in the mantra!

Now that I have started chanting my mantra meditations I have come to the realisation that I have been writing my own kind of mantras,  new single “Heartbeat” which comes out today!

The chorus just repeats because I am trying hard to get the message out the best way I can, by repeating the same lines over and over “Baby feel your heart beat”.

The meaning comes from a pure heart and soul sung with desperation. Scary stuff when releasing music like this because my feelings are so up and down. I am super excited to release this song today and I would love for you to listen to it and let me know what you think. “Heartbeat”

I have written a short story, about how the song came about. It’s pretty deep. if you would like to take a deeper insight into the song click here

I spent 20 minutes last night on this new chant which I have been introduced to. It’s called “Durga Mantra”. Durga means invincible. Mother Durga can offer you divine protection, health, wealth and prosperity for those who chant this mantra with reverence and devotion. It is to be sung 108 times. I woke up this morning feeling very strong and empowered. And would  like to share some thoughts with you. Leave the past behind and don’t look back. Write about it and then let it go. Move on. It’s so exciting when we do this. It takes practice and it really works. Try this:

Write down all your thoughts and past experiences that come to mind. Then start the rest of your day, free from thoughts of the past.

Then try writing what you are happy and grateful for, and also for the things you want, be happy grateful for them, as if you have them in your hands right now and feel what it feels like. Hope it feels good!

This is what I did with Heartbeat!

Thank you for reading my blog today. If you feel this has helped you or resonated with you please share this post and let me know you are here, would love to hear from you.

Lots of love and blessings

NatG xxx

Making Dreams Come True!

Let’s go back to 2007! Do you remember what you were doing? Now let’s come back to the present moment. Can you write a list of 12 things, significant moments that changed, shaped or transformed your life in some way? Try it.

I remember and I wrote these 12 things, as songs for Pictures of Mars as chapters. It’s days like today where I know it was totally all worth it. Today I received an extremely heart felt email from a fan from 2007 – Dennis. He kept the photo of us which was taken at The Palms after my concert and in the email he said “you are an inspiration to many and I am looking forward to hearing you live again” and this made so happy! Dennis is also on his own spiritual journey and he and I have been in conversation about this and sharing links of audio books that I listened and books that he has read.

Creating freedom to me, means sticking to your beliefs and values no matter what. Having gone through painful experiences and writing about them, I never once stopped following my dreams. Because dreams are what shape our lives.

Being in Melbourne, grounding myself here, I am being reminded of the past. The one thing I remember is that I made this album for my fans. I felt like, back then, that they really knew me because I was being 100% myself. I spoke from the heart and I was living my dream. Dreams keep us alive and so do our desires, what ever they may be.

Going through a journey of self discovery in order write these songs, it was through thorough determination that I would get this album finished no matter what, to the fans who voted for me and I knew in my heart that I would.

Today, it has reached the heart of someone whom I’d always dreamed it would and it’s given me confirmation and reassurance that it will reach many more.

Thank you Dennis.

If you are reading this, please share it with your friends and family and please write in the subject “Follow Your Dreams”

Total Solar Eclipse of the Heart

They say you can’t have the good without the bad. Well what if someone told you that on the full moon – you will be affected even more, when it’s good it’s really good and when it’s bad it’s really bad! Well, this happened to me and here is the full story.

Last night I went to pay my spiritual healer for my reiki session and as I was clicking “confirm” and put my password in to secure payment, I checked my email and my healer has literally sent me an email at the exact same time explaining one of the digits was wrong. I panicked, did some research and we spoke over the phone. It was like she was meant to speak to me, and that I needed to be given more information about my purpose. She was so lovely, she took the time to explain that I am very connected to the moon cycles and right now we are going through a solar eclipse. She explained a lot – she said when it’s around this time – to be aware that when it’s good it’s really good and when it’s bad it’s really bad.

My phone last night was off the hook and I was buzzing and on a very natural high. I got a lot done, even managed to get a reasonably early night. I knew after my interview with The Morning Show that something amazing was to going to eventuate from that experience. Yesterday after the interview I was feeling tired and had a little nap in the car. I then posted some of my signed albums, and I was craving sugar and I ate a whole packet of sweets!!!

I then met a friend for lunch and we spoke about chanting. He is a yoga instructor and does workshops on meditation and we were definitely on the same wavelength. We talked about how you can have different chants and mantras for different purposes and we both agreed that “Hare Krishna” chant is the most powerful.

While I was in London, I had such a beautiful experience at The Temple, for Janmashtami and I was introduced to the chant, and I was given a book called “chant and be happy” which explains about what Hare Krishna means and how it can help people in Western Society – This is a whole other story which I will tell soon. I am still learning myself. Anyway it was such a relief to talk about it. I feel like some people are afraid of God and talking about it, I used to be. So I get it. But I am not trying to be cool anymore. I am just working toward a better “me” which in turn will make a better “we” as a collective. I chanted last night and I prayed that my grandparents would be free. It must be so hard for them, they are now in their 80’s and my Nonno can’t drive like he used to. My Nonna is also pushing him to the ground and not only is it hurting him, I know it’s hurting her too, but she closes off. My Nonno had a car accident today and I was in the car and it was a big wake up call. He is trying so hard to be the man he used to be but my Nonna has broken him down. It’s really horrible to watch a man lose a big part of his manliness and I refuse to this happen. It’s just not right. I know in Italian culture the Italian woman can be fierce and sometimes VERY fierce, but there is no room for narcism in my books!

This morning I woke up early for a 6.30am call, Boxing with a fitness instructor at The Herald Sun building. I have been asked to be involved with a  charity – Beyond Blue – the event is being held 29th September (AFL Grand Final Eve) to help raise funds for people with depression. I will let you know further details very soon. I will be running the breathing and meditation class and there will be fitness classes and a nice big breakfast treat afterward! It was such a beautiful morning, the training was good, he worked us hard.

Later that day, me and Nonno were planning to go and see the house that is buying –  together. It’s smaller, less work for him, and it will be warmer, less bills to pay and it just makes sense. On the way there is when we had the accident. We were so close to the house too! Someone out there was trying to stop us from going… hmmm wonder who that could be?

Then I stayed with him and hugged him because he was in shock. He was broken, his heart had been torn apart. I could see he was doing everything he could possible do to survive, he is under tremendous pressure, left to do this without nonna’s acceptance and support. It breaks my heart and makes me so sad I just don’t know what to do. I want him to stay Alive and live the life he is  meant to live. I want him to buy the house and have a fresh start. I want my Nonna to wake up and see the reality and not the illusion. I tried so hard to explain to her today that her behaviour and attitude is actually killing him. It’s actually abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse. To put someone down after they have had an accident. All he wanted was love and needed a hug. Love and support and understanding. There was an angel looking over him today and I pray that this angel continues to guide him. I’m lost for words right now. It’s like I am fighting Evil. It felt horrible. It shocks me that I am even writing these words, but it’s how I felt.

The day was split in 2. And now I’m grateful I’m here to write this story. The song I released this week, “Alive” was written about my other grandad and this week it has felt like this song is really resonating with me more than ever. That in a split second we can be gone into our next form. I took the initiative to protect my Nonno today because I knew he wasn’t strong enough to fight this on his own. I fought for him with my heart and soul today and I took a huge risk in fighting for what I believe in. I love both my grandparents so much I am so connected to them. This is their battle to fight, this I know. But when someone is in a helpless situation and doesn’t have enough energy to fight anymore, something must be done. Too many times we sit back and say “Oh, she’ll be right mate” well NO – she won’t be right mate! Get up and do something about it! If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. Act on it. Say something. I wish I had have said something earlier, maybe we wouldn’t have had the accident. As I said, I’m blessed that we are still here for this day. Thank you God.

As I finish writing this blog, I receive a text saying that a commercial I have been working on for months – has just come through, for a nice sum of money! And I also woke up to some really lovely emails with some more purchases of my signed album and a very heartfelt article/review was written about NATG and Pictures of Mars! What kind of full moon is this??? WOW!!! A total solar eclipse of the heart. Thank you for reading all the way up to the end. xxxxx

Melbourne to London – Exploring the possibilities

I am writing this as I am listening to the live recording of our Melbourne launch at The Night Cat – which was last week, August 26th. It went really well and we had a lovely crowd, dancing and enjoying our music. I am so proud and blessed to have such a talented and supportive band. We are now releasing music under NATG and have a lot of EP’s and singles coming out this year to kickstart these chapters – PICTURES OF MARS. I was talking to an old friend yesterday and we were talking about leaving a legacy behind. Making a difference in the world and focusing on one dream and that one purpose and being famous on that. He congratulated me on always being happy and positive after everything i’ve been through and that I can be the shining light for others and help them through, with my writing and music and now my speaking.

On my travels and living in London I have made friends for life. Spiritual brothers and sisters and London has become my home. Through my crowdfunding campaign I have grown and changed away from home. When I come back and I am literally going back. Building and starting again here feels almost impossible. When you move forward so far, you can’t go back. No matter how many times you hear the voice in your head saying “GO!” it’s loud and clear so where am I going exactly? After our show on Saturday night and amazing feedback we received – I just want to take the band overseas and tour. We have families, bills to pay and most of the guys are booked solidly with corporate work and will need to make it work for all of us. I don’t how but I know it will happen.

I have recently been working with a new team now and they are based in London. I do feel I need to be there right now to really gain momentum on every level. I recently did a work shop with young vocalists and they all write beautiful music. We spoke about writing music and lyrics that will change the world. Making political statements and not being afraid to speak out – specially as young woman. I met some amazing young inspirational woman in London who are helping other young woman – working together to build a stronger community so that we create a better future, by sharing experiences and telling true life stories, we create true bonds when we are not afraid to open up. Of course it can be scary because we don’t want to be judged. Imagine if your story changed someone’s life? Or you met your best friend by sharing an experience with them that you maybe too shy to express, but you took the courage to open up. 99% of what is out there is unknown and that is the beauty of life. Collaborate, sing together, build the energy.

When I landed in Melbourne this time I felt like the life was sucked out of me. I am and was so full of life and energy. Working hard on my wellbeing and staying happy, exploring and figuring out what’s next? What else is there apart from music? There must be more to life than this? Finding a soul mate? Having a family and not settling for anything but the best? When you have lived one life already, beginning a new one – the hardest thing to face is knowing that you are in control of your reality. Expecting the unexpected is always the most exciting thing! Knowing without knowing. I want to now stop questioning things so much and take action. My action now is to explore what’s on the other side. As I am now seeing things from a different perspective. There are definitely cultural differences between London and Melbourne, for me the energy is more dense, the only way I can describe it is like I feel a heaviness and I think that is because I have this urge and drive to explore life outside what I feel I already know. There are more lessons for me to learn and for me to teach. Every time I have embraced the unknown and explored things out of my comfort zone magical things happen – there are always moments of struggle of course – but without these we wouldn’t be where we are today.

I’d like to hear about your experiences living in Melbourne, where you are based? What you love about the city? It is voted No1 in the world after all! What if feels like for those have moved away? Or moved to Melbourne from another country – away from your family? Do you feel fulfilled? and how did you get to that point? Look forward to hearing your comments.

The Soundtrack To My Life

Facing my thoughts and seeing myself from the outside in and the inside out at the same time. I am able to see the way people perceive me by the things I say and do. Now it’s important for me to learn this new ideal and image I have of myself and look where I am today. This time last year I was at the “Disco Loco” festival in Springfield, London and was half way through raising money for my new album. Now the festival is on again today and as I am sitting and watching the new young bands perform (and some old weird ones) I can sit here and proudly say that I’ve recorded my album. It’s finished and I’m rebuilding my website and launching NATG in 2 and 1/2 weeks. Not only have I discovered that I’m a writer and but I am now on a bigger mission and it was this album that initiated the spark.

Throughout the year the main obstacles that came up for me were both trust and fear. Who was just in this for the money? Who was in it for their ego? And who was in this for love? When people do things just for money alone, they say and do stupid things that don’t make sense and make you believe their nonsense. “This project has too much anxiety around it, so therefore I need to charge you the full £10K to mix your album” … ok but that’s the whole amount that I raised!!! Now this is not ALL people. I discovered through the process that there were trustworthy people around me too. The ones I least expected. I find it really hard to trust people in the music industry. Being female as well. I always wonder what their motives are.

So I am sitting here a year later, with my bank balance still the same, but I can now say that I have an album, I have funded a pre album tour (which was in January), cleaned out all my old things that don’t serve me anymore and I shipped all the things that do serve me, back to my home town, in Melbourne. I’ve reconnected with my family. I’ve said goodbye to lost loves. I’ve met some amazing new and inspiring people and I’ve learnt that it’s ok to be a bit nuts! I’ve accomplished the things I wanted to with my music and the album that I NEVER GOT TO MAKE with my old music label and I can happily say that this is MY work, MY music, MY arrangements and it’s done – finito and I can now close this chapter of my life. I can forgive myself for the mistakes I made along the way. I can honestly say, that this is a terrifying moment for me as much as it is exciting, it’s scary. I was told I couldn’t do it, 10 years ago and it’s taken me this long to work up the courage and the confidents to now release this music. These are the chapters to my life whilst on the journey to get it the album completed – I never thought about radio play or the money I just wrote from the heart.  I will continue to write the SOUNDTRACK to my life for as long as I live. I am proud of the fact that it doesn’t fit into a box. I proud that is has many different genres and that you can’t really label me. I am proud that I had the balls to do this! AMEN. NAMESTE.

I would like to thank everyone who has come along for the ride!!! Phundee, Ashon Spooner, Caroline Gangmark, Nitin Sawhney, Chris Norris, Darren Poole, Joe Robinson, Dharmin, Kesia, The team at Google, all the people who funded ‘The Real Journey’ which has now become ‘Pictures of Mars’. I’d like to thank my best friend Monika, Mark Watson, Beatrice, Lawrence, Elise, Eddie, Conrad, My Mum and Morris, My Dad and Dena, My brother and Mel, My sister and my new brother in law Dan, I’d like to thank Theo, Emma, Danny, My Nonna and Nonno, My Zia and Zio, Gen, Mel and Nadia and a very special thank you to Dave McLaughlin and my band, Jeremy Diffey, Cory Jach… you have made me stronger and all stood by me this whole time and kept on believing in me!!! 

 

My Album and my trip to Italy!

This album has driven me crazy! It didn’t make sense! So I started writing a journal! And what came out has started to transform my life and now I can’t stop writing. So I have created a space where I can share all my crazy stories and all the amazing magical things that life brings, which I am going to share with you as much as humanly possible. Over the past few months I have been in London and Italy. If I told you honestly how this happened I don’t know if you would be believe me! My sister got married in June and so I dropped everything to be there. I missed her a lot and thought maybe it’s time for me to come home (Melbourne). I was living in London – was renting a room and had a proper paid job tutoring at ICMP. I was mostly happy but something was not feeling fulfilled. I had crying fits while I was packing my things and kept hearing this voice in my head saying – “You’ll be back”! It messed with me big time! I forgot about my new album, forgot about money, and just did what my gut was telling me “PACK UP AND GO BACK TO MELBOURNE”. So I did. I got home and realised that I had so much to deal with. Emotional baggage – that I had left behind. How was I suppose to move on in my life if I still had emotional baggage? So I started cleaning… literally. Started at mum’s then ended up at my grandparent’s place. This is where I began to really cleanse because I felt like they understood. I then realised what this album actually means to me! It means me searching and trying too rebuild the things I had… but what did I actually have? In this game of life – there is a search. This album is all about the search. The search continues but now it has a foundation – NATG! This is my first official blog – thank you so much for reading – there is a lot to come – trust me! oh – so you want to know how I ended up back in London for a few months? Ok – well I was listening to an audio book one night called “Your wish is your command” and I started doing the exercises based on Law of Attraction. I wrote down that I wanted a black Mercedes. To meet my soul mate and travel through Europe. I end up meeting this very handsome photographer who had a black Mercedes who asked me travel through Italy with him. I also got booked for some workshops in London and decided to accept these as gifts from the universe. I forgot that I had a launch coming up that I had agreed to and instead of cancelling my work plans to travel, I ended up cutting my travel plans short to complete my mission, of the album release instead. I felt I couldn’t do both. I am currently now still in London creating this website and I honestly cannot wait til it’s done! I have had so much stuff just sitting on my laptop for so long wondering when my record deal would come or my manager! Well I am now my own manager and label and do as I please and it feel fricken fantastic!